But seriously....
This structure is in no way massively overkill for the teeny tiny 2” high cucumber plants I bought. Speaking of which yesterday I discovered that I do not know the difference between feet and inches. ( “ or ‘ ) Which is why Simon had to build this huge structure. I picked up the cucumber plants and thought it said “Plant 6 inches a part” when what it actually said was “Plant 6’ a part.”
The ‘ means feet not inches apparently. I hate math.
And so these tiny plants can not go in a wine barrel like I had planned, instead they go in the ground on an enormous wooden structure that looks like a cross between a giant loom and a hangman’s gallows. Is it dominating the yard? Yes. Is it kinda ugly? Yes. WIll it inevitably piss off Bertie? Yes.
And so it stays.