This bastard...
is making my life hell. Every day, EVERY DAY he drops peanuts, bread and other weirdness into our bird bath. The other day he dragged a dead bird in that and left the guts and severed head behind! It is like an avian horror show out there!
Why is he doing this to me? Is he washing his food like a raccoon? Is he a weird hybrid crowcoon created in the Berkeley labs for future warfare? What the hell is going on?